national pornographic

i have heard a number of descriptions pertaining to the male genitalia, descriptions ranging from the fictive (hanggang tuhod) to the downright absurd (may ngipin). men tend to exaggerate when it comes to the "tool of their trade" or the "male equipment". but when women describe what they have seen, all hell (bowel control, in this case) breaks loose.

zag and i were channel surfing the other day, desperate for some quality tv. i usually flip from USA (ultimate in sports and action) to MTV, so we get to see all the channels in between (including the highly riveting Bloomberg and Moneyindex). there was a special, i think, about aborigines on national geographic that day. there's something clearly (or queerly) homo-erotic about scantily-clad men blowing on what appears to be a 4-foot long aboriginal woodwind instrument. i digress, like i usually do.

upon seeing what remains of Australia's first settlers, zag muttered something moderately shocking - "nakita ko kaya yung thing nila, once." note the use of the more appropriate term for the word penis. i don't particularly remember asking for details of what my sister had previously gawked upon; call me retarded, but the discussion of things other than my own have never interested me.

what i do remember is zag giving an acutely vivid detailing of an aboriginal "fifth limb". incapacitated by a fit of hysterical laughing, she was barely able to get the words out -

"mukha kayang pupu na nakalawit sa harap."

National Geographic Channel. Dare to explore?