stepping on dog crap, that sucks. stepping on human feces, that's fallacious. welcome to my world. wipe your feet.

Friday, November 19, 2004

the price of fame (may sukli pa)

the challenge in composing yearbook writeups lies in the selection of relevant details. your writeup should be able to describe who you were when you were in college, not just the snot-nosed juvenile in your ID pic, not just the 7-digit student number you include in all the forms and papers you filled out or submitted. you should think about your target audience, the people who will waste their time reading your writeup. and these are your batchmates, or in my case, classmates young enough to view me as a father figure. they should be able to recognize the person they're reading about. there should be a familiarity with the subject, the contents of your writeup should ring a couple of bells. the real you. the you you. before i totally regress and describe myself in a series of grunts and snorts, here is my writeup:

Patrick Justin J. Laqui
DECL BA English Studies – Creative Writing

has been known to respond to the following names: Patrick, PJ, Pip, Pat, and Pats (there’s too much of him for a singular proper name to handle); makes it a point to get an INC or two every semester; is constantly hounded by a toothless lunatic - FC’s fabled parking attendant – who is the very definition of the word “extortion;” is usually found in one of two places: sitting on a stool beside Manang Caring’s photocopier, flirting with everything in a skirt that comes within spitting radius; or pretending to read in the Main Library’s Humanities section, Nietzche and Derrida are his pillows; is offended by two things – old people who take their sweet time crossing national roads, and body odor.

relevant details. i would've included the fight i started with an AS custodian - all because i refuse to wash my feet in the area built for washing mops, settling instead for the whiteness of the restroom's sink - but, i was out of space.

then again, i think it would be easier or it is the preferred choice of many to have their writeups written by a close college friend. i had people lining up for this privelege, i chose to write it myself to be fair to all. composing your own writeup is nothing to be ashamed of - it just means that you're too popular for your own good.

i will post the map to loserville soon.


Blogger Kitty Litter said...

"Spitting" distance? Oh boy. I am almost afraid to ask.

Washing feet in the CR. There was one more choice, you know: the toilet bowl. Given the smell of the mops there, no way would I stick my feet in there either. Just an anatomical question: how the hell did you manage to get your feet into the sink, given your long, lanky frame?

If you invoke the Kama Sutra in your reply, hindi kita kilala. Hehe.

2:17 AM

Blogger grossy said...

i technically wrote my own arki writeup. pati high school writeup ko, ako nagsulat. no one to blame but yourself. and yes, am too popular for words.

how come i don't know of this maundy thursday reenactment in AS? to think that i call you my bros.

you flirt with anything in a skirt? hmm...

6:18 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wrote my own college writeup. No way was I going to let some someone submit a lame ass description of me. Got saddled with editing a couple of writeups from 2 CAL depts. Very creative people they were. Everyone was "nice, sweet, understanding, thoughtful and a good friend." Sheesh. See? Composing your own writeup is the only way to go, unless you're the type to describe yourself as "nice, sweet, understanding, thoughtful and a good friend."

~mela (

12:07 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Typical Patrick,hehe. I'd like to think that we who write our own write-ups do so because no one else could possibly accurately describe us (or at least not in 120 words).


12:15 PM

Blogger mush said...

Hey Pasig Raver! Wala lang. I just want to say that I felt wistful when you wrote that yearbook write up entry. Super eons ago na pala since our hs yearbook came out. And well...senti lang because of what was contained in our hs writeups don't reflect what's written on our college writeups. So yun. I guess change's a constant.:)

11:22 PM

Blogger Pasig Raver said...

instead of e-mailing everyone (iba na ang busy, kapagod kaya matulog ng 12 hours a day):

kitty litter - "spitting distance" - how i attract potential mates. upon receiving said spit, they can have it tested for various diseases. i gargle my own blood once in a while so that my saliva will contain the necessary information. yung AS CR kuwento sa next entry ko na lang. kama sutra not included. that's another story.

the grossy - i will and do flirt with anything (everything, mas all-encompassing kasi) in a skirt - kahit si matutina na nakapalda, go ako diyan. pero tayo graduate na sa flirting. caress. parang manicure.

mela - naisip ko rin yun. patapon nga yung "nice, sweet, understanding, and a good friend." even if it's true. i still think the best way to go is to collate a bunch of writeups written by friends. then edit them. tapos saka natin ilalagay yung "nice, sweet, understanding, and a good friend."

batman - conundrum ang identity mo ha. parang cluedo. but what you said is true, di tayo kasya sa 120 words. 121 words nga yung sa akin. may utang ka sakin na beer kung makilala kita (or you don't like beer. hmmm).

mush - mesozoic era pa nga yung hs. but i don't think anyone has changed. kahit na makita mo pa sina JR OZOA or si Soo squared (blockmate pala siya ni lilli) - they're essentially the same person, medyo amplified lang yung isa nilang trait. what's "changed" in my case is that i'm more offensive than usual. think about it: do we really change? conundrum (my favorite word as of the moment).

2:09 PM

Blogger categorically imperative said...

I had a very good friend do my writeup. After I read it I realized I hadn't really been studying much, alcohol and the org pretty much ruled my college life. No regrets.

10:15 AM

Blogger stephanie said...

Since you don't have a tag-board, I hope you don't mind if I leave a message here. Re my post, I know that "it" refers to the "crippling of the career/social life." I just found it odd how they worded it, because people such as myself (who can get into the nitty gritty of things in defense of grammatical correctness, hehe) would think that the "it" was referring to something else (and I TOTALLY trust my editing/proofreading skills :p). I'm OC myself, also to the point of being anal (my mom calls me "rigid," buti nalang walang F *lol*). Thanks for dropping by.

3:34 PM

Blogger kantogirl said...

Well, at least you have a yearbook. Alas, there's no hs nor college yearbook for me. isa yata kami sa mga tamad na batches ng CAL or baka out of the loop lang ako nung panahong iyon?

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