the price of fame (may sukli pa)

the challenge in composing yearbook writeups lies in the selection of relevant details. your writeup should be able to describe who you were when you were in college, not just the snot-nosed juvenile in your ID pic, not just the 7-digit student number you include in all the forms and papers you filled out or submitted. you should think about your target audience, the people who will waste their time reading your writeup. and these are your batchmates, or in my case, classmates young enough to view me as a father figure. they should be able to recognize the person they're reading about. there should be a familiarity with the subject, the contents of your writeup should ring a couple of bells. the real you. the you you. before i totally regress and describe myself in a series of grunts and snorts, here is my writeup:

Patrick Justin J. Laqui
DECL BA English Studies – Creative Writing

has been known to respond to the following names: Patrick, PJ, Pip, Pat, and Pats (there’s too much of him for a singular proper name to handle); makes it a point to get an INC or two every semester; is constantly hounded by a toothless lunatic - FC’s fabled parking attendant – who is the very definition of the word “extortion;” is usually found in one of two places: sitting on a stool beside Manang Caring’s photocopier, flirting with everything in a skirt that comes within spitting radius; or pretending to read in the Main Library’s Humanities section, Nietzche and Derrida are his pillows; is offended by two things – old people who take their sweet time crossing national roads, and body odor.


relevant details. i would've included the fight i started with an AS custodian - all because i refuse to wash my feet in the area built for washing mops, settling instead for the whiteness of the restroom's sink - but, i was out of space.

then again, i think it would be easier or it is the preferred choice of many to have their writeups written by a close college friend. i had people lining up for this privelege, i chose to write it myself to be fair to all. composing your own writeup is nothing to be ashamed of - it just means that you're too popular for your own good.

i will post the map to loserville soon.