stepping on dog crap, that sucks. stepping on human feces, that's fallacious. welcome to my world. wipe your feet.

Monday, October 02, 2006

dance of the dunces 2

SB has this nasty habit of channel jetskiing – covering everything from the domain of the kapamilya to the jihad channel (77, reference sky cable silver) in just under ten seconds. the rate of flipping differs depending on the channel groupings; news, animation, and sports suffering the most in this exercise. she kicks it up a notch when she hits the set of sports channels, knowing it’s one of the few things besides Conan and Jojo A that generates enough electric current in my budget-siopao-sized brain to keep me from losing all cognitive faculties and just start drooling and saying incoherent things like I must blog everyday so people will know how interesting my trudge to fulfilling my entropic destiny is. it becomes slightly disorienting seeing footballs, Nascar decals, and Sharapova’s panties in a single sequence (puwedeng lyrics). she lingers occasionally to make sure that the girl eliminated in Tyra’s America’s Next Top Model is the one she read about in one of those “not porn” sites (aside from Wikipedia, I can’t comprehend why people bother with “not porn” sites. “not porn” – ugh, the profanity!); or to bear witness to the latest news update in the only show that champions credibility and prides itself as the hallmark of investigative Philippine journalism – The Buzz.

i must admit, watching the shows SB approves of is a welcome reprieve to monitoring the rise and fall of the index in Bloomberg. especially when we hit the couch potato jackpot - that elusive, unadulterated form of entertainment otherwise known as Pinoy Reality TV.

and we’re not talking about Pinoy Big Brother, Pinoy Dream Academy, or Pinoy “Philippine” Idol (pinilit yung parallelism, parang Rudy “DaBoy” Fernandez or Krustico “Krusty” The Clown). rather, this is a look into the complex dialogue incorporated in ABC 5’s Shall We Dance with your host Lucy “Klepto” Torres-Gomez.

in no way comparable to Hollywood’s own Dancing with the Stars, Shall We Dance showcases the various talents of local celebrities (showbiz personalities, professional athletes, Jueteng Kubradors, etc.). and, contrary to the show’s title, it’s not dancing that’s being referred to when I say talent. it’s more on these entertainers’ innate wit that kept both SB and I temporarily immobilized in front of the tube. Arnel Ignacio’s hair is more than enough to make one suffer an aneurysm from laughing too hard, but it’s his comment on Alex Crisano’s dance instructor and partner’s communication skills that did it for me – “Bakit ka ganyan mag-English. Para kang taga-Guam.” the judges don’t hold back either (I don’t really know which is more distracting – Audie Gemora’s fashion sense or Regine Tolentino’s nose which, depending on the angle, is clearly an 8-seater powered at least by a 3.0L diesel engine.). Edna Ledesma’s (judge and grand prize winner in the Latin Dance Senior Category held in Blackpool, England) comment on Archie Alemanya’s partner’s performance (“You’re so full of energy. You’re like an Energizer.”) was a TV first – it’s the first time an ellipsis was actually manifested beyond the two-dimensional plane.

but it’s Alex Crisano’s explanation of why he was taunting his ex-girlfriend and fellow participant, Ethel Booba, that made me a believer once again of the entertainment value of local TV. he said, “You have to be competitive. You have to get in the mind of your component.”

this goes beyond any conflict ever discussed in scholastic circles: Man versus Promac. it does make a good tagline - i bet it would sound funnier with Aga's lisp.