stepping on dog crap, that sucks. stepping on human feces, that's fallacious. welcome to my world. wipe your feet.

Friday, November 19, 2004

the price of fame (may sukli pa)

the challenge in composing yearbook writeups lies in the selection of relevant details. your writeup should be able to describe who you were when you were in college, not just the snot-nosed juvenile in your ID pic, not just the 7-digit student number you include in all the forms and papers you filled out or submitted. you should think about your target audience, the people who will waste their time reading your writeup. and these are your batchmates, or in my case, classmates young enough to view me as a father figure. they should be able to recognize the person they're reading about. there should be a familiarity with the subject, the contents of your writeup should ring a couple of bells. the real you. the you you. before i totally regress and describe myself in a series of grunts and snorts, here is my writeup:

Patrick Justin J. Laqui
DECL BA English Studies – Creative Writing

has been known to respond to the following names: Patrick, PJ, Pip, Pat, and Pats (there’s too much of him for a singular proper name to handle); makes it a point to get an INC or two every semester; is constantly hounded by a toothless lunatic - FC’s fabled parking attendant – who is the very definition of the word “extortion;” is usually found in one of two places: sitting on a stool beside Manang Caring’s photocopier, flirting with everything in a skirt that comes within spitting radius; or pretending to read in the Main Library’s Humanities section, Nietzche and Derrida are his pillows; is offended by two things – old people who take their sweet time crossing national roads, and body odor.

relevant details. i would've included the fight i started with an AS custodian - all because i refuse to wash my feet in the area built for washing mops, settling instead for the whiteness of the restroom's sink - but, i was out of space.

then again, i think it would be easier or it is the preferred choice of many to have their writeups written by a close college friend. i had people lining up for this privelege, i chose to write it myself to be fair to all. composing your own writeup is nothing to be ashamed of - it just means that you're too popular for your own good.

i will post the map to loserville soon.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

guffaw, guffaw

this is my answer (maximum of 2000 characters) to the compulsory question - "What types of people do you get along with and why." [sic] - in my job application (proofreader, Manpower Outsourcing Services, Inc.* - apparently, the asterisk is part of the company's name. and I know what you're thinking, it is the gayest company name ever.)

"I believe that I get along with most types of people (The term "most" is used loosely. Rest assured, those who end their questions with periods - "What types of people do you get along with and why." - would still fall under that category of "people whom I get along with." Why not.). Given a certain situation, working with a group, for example, regardless of the recalcitrant nature of a group member or two, I would still have managed to foster an atmosphere conducive to the completion of the task at hand. I'd have gotten the job done. But, if this question were asked to determine my character in terms of the people I associate myself with (birds of the same feather...), then I would have to say that I get along with people who have a great sense of humor. I consider myself to be in possession of a good sense of humor, so, in order for one to be in my good graces, one must be funnier than I am. My definition of funny will lead to an understanding of the type or types of people I enjoy the company of. Funny, to me, has to do with being witty. One must be quick and sharp to understand my quips; and to counter/reply with one's own. Funny is not only suggestive of intellectual prowess, but also of the person's general attitude or outlook in life. The humor I usually enjoy is of the self-deprecating kind; and for one to pull this off must mean that the person is sensible enough to make fun of himself. Also, that the person is honest and mature enough to admit his faults, and clever enough to translate these admissions of inadequacy to jokes or witticisms. Those whom I get along with share these traits (they are all funny = smart, honest, mature, cool), and I am in good terms with them because they bring out the "funny" guy in me. And that's always a good thing. Isn't it. (Please laugh.)" (qtd. in

stop reading if you're not funny. it means that we wouldn't get along with each other. i'll call you "recalcitrant" if you persist. i'll call the doctor if you persist.

(malulungkot ako ng husto kung walang nakaintindi ng huling pangungusap.)